tumblr doesn't need a tiktok clone what it needs is a dress up game
we should all have gaiaonline chibi avatars tbh
in honor of barbie movie, i dug my Midge ™ out of my parents’ shed so i could show you all just how she worked if you’ve never witnessed it in action
as you can see, Midge has a magnetic pregnancy belly that contours to her unpregnant body
now inside the pregnancy belly of course is the barbie baby. it comes right out, no vagina to exit through. and if you look closely you can see that her underwear is also painted across the bottom of the belly. there is no mistaking this for a woman with any genitalia. just underwear.
here is the baby within the belly. i don’t think either of these is the correct way a baby should sit in a uterus but do i look like a fucking doctor to you?
the clearly very happy mother and child. and discarded magnetic belly. with underwear band.
fin
unrelated but i also found my louis tomlinson doll
fuck it. pregnant louis tomlinson
Pretty sure there's a very specific AO3 tag for this whole scenario, but you're on your own looking for it.
today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket
❤
today on satan makes a blog post
Life tip: if someone slashes 3 of your tires, slash the 4th one yourself and blame it on the person who slashed the first 3. Now, your insurance will pay for it.
Life tip: If you slash 3 of their tires, hide out nearby until they discover their slashed tires. Take pictures of them slashing their fourth tire. Show police when they arrive on scene. Convicted of insurance fraud and still have to pay for tires.
i feel like i’m reading a Spy vs Spy comic in text format
you absolute dumb fucks. Slashing tires is really dangerous and many cars don’t even have tube tires anymore.
Cum in the fuel tank
Idiot, that’s indecent exposure in a public location. This is a one way ticket to the sex offender registry.
What you wanna do is lay down some nails or other small sharp objects at the end of their driveway. somewhere they won’t see but will absolutely drive over. this will cause their tires to slowly deflate. They can’t claim insurance on their own negligence to check for sharp objects in their driveway. It is their driveway after all. They should know not to leave nails there.
you can bring cum in a bottle to the car. If you had more than one brain cell you would plan in advance
If you used the one that’s bouncing around in your skull like a windows Screensaver you’d know that the way you worded it implies that you are doing it on the spot rather than pouring it in. If you expect people to read it as you’ve now described you should’ve said “pour cum in their fuel tank”, which implies the cum was prepared ahead of time.
i want someone to cum in my fuel tank 🥴
I hate this website
i love the people i find on here, i need to put you in jars and examine you
and what will you do with those jars?
we're literally in the midst of a mass conservative project to outlaw public queer existence and y'all think joking about beating up people in collars is the thing to do right now?
i have no more sympathy for this shit. learn to tolerate people being sexually weird in your vicinity or fuck off
Y'all can stop throwing around the word "degenerate" to talk about queer people you disapprove of while you're at it. Been seeing that shit way too much lately. I hope like hell most of y'all using it are just ignorant of the word's history and unaware that it's VERY MUCH a white supremacist dog whistle.
listen to both songs fully/as long as you can handle before voting.
the word “queer” being used by someone who uses that word to describe their own experience of love and their cherished community should not ever sound the same to you as it does coming out of the mouth of a homophobe. acting like these two types of people are the same is unbelievably cruel
^^^
Adding on once again: there is no word for our experiences that has not been used as a slur and isn’t *still* used as a slur.
My mother never said fag but she sure could say “gay” in a way that made it clear that was what she meant 🙃
“Homosexual” in the mouth of a Southern Republican US Senator is more vile than “faggot” in the mouth of a 50-year-old gay man from Seattle, where they made an attempt at one point to reclaim the word. (Unlike queer, it didn’t really work.)
Hell. “Those people” in the mouth of a homophobic mom to a closeted gay teen is probably fouler than either of those.
Just chiming in here from over on the disability side of things, where we can testify that it doesn’t matter what you call yourself, your terminology will get used as a slur by people who don’t want you to exist because you fuck up their ideas of how the world should be. So, call yourself whatever you want, and don’t yield to the people who don’t care what you’re called, because your greatest crime is existing in the first place. They’re never going to have a polite word for you anyway.
Oddly I don’t see a single occupation listed besides the last where they’ll murder you just because they’re having a bad day and automatically get away with it.
I have only love for the USPS.
reminder that cops have also been logging covid deaths (after refusing to comply with masking orders nationwide) as on-duty fatalities, as well as everything from heart attacks to car crashes to friendly fire. a really significant amount of cop deaths aren't actually due to Criminal Violence, but it's significant that the cops act as though *all* of them are.
The Barbie movie ended with Barbie staging a large protest to lure every cop on the planet into a massive hole in the ground. 
